Jury Summons

Two days ago I received a summons to be part of the jury pool for a "special" trial that the court expects to last at least 8 weeks. Having served on a grand jury a couple of years ago and one petit jury, I was intrigued to say the least, but concerned about my ability to last, given my chronic health problems. So I regretfully asked to be excused. We will see what the court thinks. But the incident reminded me of this poem I wrote when I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia and at the same time started going through menopause and could do little but try to regain some degree of healthy functioning. Although it was difficult, it also struck me as humorous.

These Days

Getting up and getting going
Is an interesting affair.
At this age, much more difficult
Than you might be aware.

First you have to stretch a bit
And gradually “destiffen.”
So, drink your coffee, read the Post
And have yourself a muffin.

Then it’s pills of many kinds,
Sizes, shapes and colors,
And get out for your morning walk
Or risk the evening dolors.

Breakfast, shower, dress again.
Apply the creams and lotions -
For hemorrhoids, psoriasis,
The stress-related potions,

For face, (your skin is drying out,
Result of menopause)
And drops for eyes, cuz they’re dry, too
And sight’s a worthy cause.

Comb your hair, you’re almost there,
And gee, it’s not yet noon!
There’s time to do a thing or two.
The dishes? Perhaps a spoon?

But, oops! It’s time for pills again.
These for ailments chronic.
Arthritis, IB and CFS
Oh, where’s the all purpose tonic???

And now there is an hour or two
You may get something done
Before a nap is necess’ry
To recover from the strain.

Then dinner, which requires thought
Have you had five fruits and veggies?
If not, you better work it in
Or tomorrow you’ll regret it.

And have you had today your water
In quantities sufficient
To ensure that all your systems delicate
Function real efficient?

For it’s bedtime now and pills again
(Those menopausal symptoms)
Estrogen and calcium
Magnesi and some other “ums.”

You never knew your body could
Require so much work
When you were young and stupidly
Assumed it’d always perk

Along like some well-oiled machine
Or energizer bunny.
But now you know, it takes a lot
To keep it going, honey.

So learn your lesson while you’re young.
(Right!) Do not overdo it.
Or you will pay, regret the day
Like me, and live to rue it!

P.E. Ortman